You

PHOTO PROMPT – © Dee Lovering

PHOTO PROMPT – © Dee Lovering

My very last cross-post for Friday Fictioneers and A-Z Challenge. I’m feeling a little mixed-feeling-ish. This photo reminded me a little of Baltimore, MD, where I was visiting last Friday. The city is in my thoughts and prayers.

You

The time has come for us to part ways, but that’s okay. Wind tousles my hair, hand wrapped around the mast for balance as waves gently rock the boat.

How long will you be gone? I don’t know.

You are the one person who always understood me, the one I could always count on. I don’t want to go, but the sea winds call.

You step forward. Words, daggers on the wind, pierce my heart.

“I’m pregnant.”

Fully clothed, heedless, I sprint across the deck, jumping down into the water, headed back to the shore, to you.

20 thoughts on “You

    • Okay, I have to be honest, on this one, in my head (and admittedly not in the text!), she was really not expecting him to come back. The reason why she told him when she did was because she decided – at the last minute – he deserved to know. In my mind, as I wrote it, she loved him a lot and respected his choice to leave, but wanted him to know he was a father before he left, in case he never saw her again and might otherwise never know. So it wasn’t blackmail, to try to get him to stay. That said, I definitely agree she should have told him sooner, when they could have talked it over reasonably (will she keep the child? will she expect anything from him?) and THEN he could leave, but she didn’t *want* to blackmail him to get him to stay. I totally respect your reading by the way – but I feel oddly compelled on behalf of womankind to clarify that point.

      • Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be overly critical with this, only, the pregnancy, come stay with me… I’ve seen this happen, and fail, too often. Great backstory, and this would make a wonderful adventurous and romantic story, thank you so much for telling it. Are you planning to go anywhere with this story idea? One of the reasons I love flash fiction is how it brings out ideas that can go further, and are there to remind us when we need them.

  1. Fingers crossed he won’t regret his decision… ‘I don’t want to go, but the sea winds call.’ – that’s such a great line. Nicely done!

    • Thanks Sonya! Me too. Sometimes characters do crazy, unexpected things. Kind of like real people. 🙂 I figure if nothing else there will always be another ship for the guy. Clothes probably ruined though!

  2. Nowadays, I trust there must exist a government office dedicated to forbidding …
    that a pregnant lady swims back to shore like that!!!

    What? 😉 Tay.

  3. The pull of the sea, the wind in his hair, his hand on the mast – yet love calls and he chooses her without a moment’s hesitation. Sigh. Perfect.

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