This week, I’m going to stream-of-consciousness dream world type stuff. No one else in it, not because I want to live forever alone, but so as not to presume anyone else would want my fantasy too.
Of course, every fantasy – for me – has to start in a library. Come on in, and pull up a chair if you like.
One of my dreams has always been to live in a library where I have access to every book, even those which have not been written yet. When I was younger and first learning how to read, I vowed one day I would read every book.
Now that I’m older, I know this is not going to be possible for a number of reasons. Not every book ever written is for me to read, for one. Also, time and space considerations.
But still, in my dream world, I’m in a majestic gold-lit library, one of those old libraries with varnished wood floors and shelves, and walls, with lighting in sconces and plenty of book-nooks to hide away in, stained glass windows here and there. The library has multiple levels, and the books that haven’t been written yet are on the highest shelves, so you can’t accidentally pick one up before it’s time. There are of course ladders and stairs, if you want to read the future on purpose.
I drift like a happy ghost through my library, smelling the paper as my feet treads lightly on polished wooden floors. What to read, where to go next? There are so many choices and so little time, books being written – good ones – while I pause to make up my mind about the ones already here in the present.
Life is full of hard choices like that. It helps to keep life interesting, these choices.
What is your ideal future?
Anne Higa 
Hari OM
I tend not to ponder on ‘ideal futures’ as I have lived into enough of my own future for it to now be history… and to learn that there is no ideal. Only acceptance of what is.
That said, I do like a good daydream and it would almost certainly be along similar lines to your fantasy library! YAM xx
Wow Yam,
Your response is making me think a lot of thoughts. That kind of used to be my perspective and something that held me back from creative imagining. Then, I realized – and I don’t think we are really disagreeing here – that as long as I know the difference, creative escape can be really important to putting present life in order. To accepting all of my self as valid including my feelings.
This may be that I am not NT or due to childhood trauma, but I have never been able to entirely, genuinely “accept what is.” It took a lot of time and therapy to get to a point where I was able to see this as a good, if different thing. Sometimes reality is bad and it is okay to refuse to accept it, to feel and think that way.
I think you know what I mean though, and that is why this made me think more deeply about what I meant. Thank you so much for responding. Have a great day.
Hari OM
Indeed I do know what you mean – and wholeheartedly agree that escaping reality (for want of better words) can help put that reality into better context and order. And this is the joy of blogging – we gain so many perspectives! YAM xx