J is for Joking

#AtoZChallenge 2021 April Blogging from A to Z Challenge letter J

“I wish I were dead,” Jana murmurs as she slams her locker shut – then quickly looks around to make sure no one heard.

If she were to disappear tomorrow, think about it. He would never need to see her face again. Eventually, they’ll stop accusing him of “slumming it” and her of being a … never mind. He’ll never need to explain again how she was “not bad to look at” but “pathetic if she thought she meant anything to him.”

They say people learn, but that isn’t true. School isn’t for learning, not to them. It’s all about getting on the right team, being seen with the right people. Quick, check to see if anyone else is laughing. Then, join in. Come on. It was just a joke. What’s your problem?

Yeah, it’s the same old joke over and over: the geek who thinks she can be a queen.

Tears welling up in her eyes, Jana rushes to the bathroom. On her way, she clasps the crucifix around her neck, snapping the chain with a violent tug. If only they would torture and kill her like in the old days, then at least it would be over. At least then it would be over.

She’s going to be late for class. But, she will not let them see her cry.

She will not let them see her.

See the source image

Can’t decide which version of Sanctuary I like more. Love Utada Hikaru’s stripped down voice on first one, but love the Kingdom Heart anime opener. This one is for all my geeky JRPG/fantasy friends, who helped me to survive high school. I don’t remember most of your names now, but that’s okay. You are still my sanctuary that I visit when I need it most, when I need to remember that it is okay to be – and to think – different from “mundanes” aka the cool/normal people. ❤ I keep reminding myself: I had a lot of long-distance friends, way before it was cool. Back when Internet was dial-up and expensive, so we mostly used landlines and letters to talk. ❤ Now, everyone is doing it, and that’s okay too. We did it first, because we had to. ❤

7 thoughts on “J is for Joking

    1. I was thinking that. It was harder, more of a delay but in a way that forced you to make the most of it when you would call/write. Glad when you got call/letter/irl (in real life) meeting. Different times. =/

  1. Hari Om
    As one who was badly teased at school, I can identify with the ‘I was just joking’ nonsense offered after the fact. It wasn’t fantasy worlds into which I escaped, however – it was true space and a love of all things flight and space-related (and Star Trek of course…) And penfriends. I think blogging has offered an extension of that and of my regular readers I have made firm e-mail friendships and even some ‘IRL’ ones! YAM xx

    1. Yay for Star Trek! Yeah, I’m getting back into a blogging thing after a bit of a hiatus. Okay, Covid in general got me back into online stuff after a hiatus. Still navigating the waters. It’s all kind of same/different but it does remind me of back when, in good and bad ways, because people everywhere are people. It’s not going out for coffee but I can make coffee at home. Could be worse.

  2. Such a painful time of life for so many. I think the trouble with social media is it allows bullies to exist without having to face their victims, at least in the past they couldn’t hurt you beyond the physical world you were in, and there was a chance for others to call them out and protect the victims. Online those things are much harder to do. Good story with a twist at the end.

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