I’m sorry for making excuses for the patriarchy and for (white) guys in general. I am truly sorry that I will probably continue to do so without realizing it. It’s this reflexive action, a product white, patriarchal society.

Here’s an example of racism and colonialism: the Eurocentric system of worship with its all-male hierarchy. Imagine being silently told, day after day, to put aside your heritage and self-worth. For Jesus. I don’t need to imagine. I just needed to wake up and be like wow. I see that now.

Meanwhile, I get to live in a reality where women are passive aka inferior aka emotional aka “spiritually” superior. Meanwhile, men continue to blaspheme the real spirit by preferring the world and its standards of glory and beauty, money and power. They know what to do and continue to not do it, while praising us for doing it for them. What?

Here’s what I realize, what countless people have tried to explain. I’m finally starting to get it, I think.

I am not your promised land.

I am not on earth for you to colonize, plunder, and/or save.

I’ve still got so much to learn, but it goes something like that. I never know if anyone is actually going to read what I’m writing, but I can always send out love. I want to send out healing love and search for better understanding.

To all my free-range ladies, all my fellow spiritual nones, all my sisters and brothers of good will. I am with you in spirit. Truth is, I gave up on this unwinnable game years ago. So did Jesus. He turned the tables first.

We’ve got this. They want it. Let’s go. Before they do something they’ll only regret if they get caught. Either way, it will not be fun for us at all.