Dear God,

True confession, I am now awake for an hour again approaching 5A.M., this time going through my Facebook, reading a great, thought-provoking blog post and generally making better use of my time.

I just spent a good fifteen minutes looking at multivariable calculus and thinking yes, among other things I love math. I love math, and I love science, and I pretty much love everything. I’m kind of like this overwrought Carebear, sometimes Grumpy (because all feelings must be acknowledged) and oftentimes Care-a-lot.

One of the many things that Jesus said (because, man, Jesus had a lot to say) was to choose the narrow path. I think a lot of times we think that narrow path means being different, what I personally think of as I’m strange, like everybody else. And that’s definitely a thing. The real trick of the really great life – and I mean here like someone uber-better at this than me – is to find some way to walk the line between the two versions of everyone else. For example: to walk between the version where everyone is trying to fit in, and where everyone is fitting in by simply being who they are, which if left unchecked could lead to chaos.

Whatever side we may be on the line between Normal and Strange, we’re all a little bit of both right? I mean, the just fitting in folks are never quite sure that we aren’t a little bit weird. The weird folks, we’re never sure if we managed to become conformists after all.

It’s all found in that honesty of heart within ourselves. If everyone could actually figure that out, if we could simply be our authentic selves, honest before God in all our imperfections, striving to rise above them. What kind of crazy, wacky hijinks could we get up to then, right? But to me that’s the essence of the Gospel.

And I guess my next level part is to say let’s say we could do that. Let’s say we’re in heaven right now in some sense where I can’t see this yet on earth, but I believe with all my heart. Suddenly that narrow way becomes the majority way. Everyone in heaven, they’re on that road. They’ve been walking for miles on that road.

That’s what it means in the one passage that I can’t find but I know it’s there where one of the biblical authors says something all serious sounding like – If you are truly advanced in the faith, then you will show it by humility.

Strive to outdo each other in doing good. Strive to outdo each other in lifting each other up. Be the very best you can at making others feel like the very best. And even then, especially then, lay it all at the feet of God lest we get too crazy about this. Because otherwise we fall into what I like to think of as the bake sale conundrum common when us ladies get together, where we literally start to passive-aggressively fight over who is the least (meaning greatest) among us at being most there for everyone else.

The important thing is that – no matter what – there are cookies.

Purity of heart requires actual purity of heart. Going into the inner chamber sometimes, locking the door. Saying whatever it is we have to say. Like for example this:

I love you forever. I hurt today.

Anne