I married the woman of my dreams today. It was the perfect day, sunshine in the park, our minister a close friend who got one of those low-cost “ordinations” just to officiate for us. Everyone clapped, and it all felt so real. This is actually happening, real.

Then, one of your work friends, Susan, came up to us and said, “I think it’s about time that lesbians can get married, like normal people. Are you planning to have kids? I have a friend who was adopted.”

Awkward silence.

“We’re not lesbians,” I said. “Rachel is a bambi lesbian. I’m biromantic.”

“Okay,” Susan said, her smile weakening.

“Let it go,” you said.

Except I wasn’t in the mood to let it go. Not on our happy day. “That means neither of us want to have sex, although we do enjoy being together in … other ways.”

“Mm,” you said, blushing slightly. You blush so easy.

“Also, I’m attracted to both men and women,” I said.

“Oh, you’re bisexual.” She sipped awkwardly at her glass of champagne, while she tried to think where to place me in her neatly compartmentalized thought world. I can feel the unasked question lurking in her brain: if you like both guys and girls, why not stick to guys? Wouldn’t that be better? It’s hard enough to deal with women falling in love with other women, IF WE MUST, but if you can choose, why not choose to be normal?

I opened my mouth to respond to the look she was NOT giving me, to the awkward silence. You nudged me with your elbow, because you could feel the argument coming.

“It was really nice to meet you, Susan,” I said, instead. “Thank you for the, uh, toaster.”

“No problem.” (You’re welcome for the social niceties, Susan.) “I hope you like it.” (I hope you enjoy how much I am putting up with YOU right now.) “Congratulations!”

“Thanks.” And, that part I really do mean.

***

Bambi lesbian = a female person who is only attracted (asexually/with minimal or no desire for sex) to other female persons

Biromantic = someone of any gender who is romantically (not necessarily sexually) attracted to people of either/all gender identities. Biromantic people can also be bisexual, asexual, or heterosexual.

*Note, that it isn’t necessarily true that asexual female-female relationships are always sexless, That was my MC giving a bit of attitude for the purpose of the story. 

Also, note: the rest of the stories in this series won’t all be about actual asexual relationships. It was just the first thing to come to mind, because there are so many things I want to say about this, all the time. The next one is about something else.