Feminism vs Toxic Masculinity

One of these days, I’m going to have a “normal” week. I’m not entirely sure what a normal week will look like. This week I had a post deleted from this sci fi fan site. And whatever.

I was trying to be nice.

Where to start this week?

How about some not made up facts pulled from Psychology Today, about how – prior to “feminist deconstruction” – all those things we view as “masculine” were and often still are harmful to the human psyche – and to society as a whole.

It’s unhealthy to be unwilling to ask for help, to need to be seen as perfect. It’s harmful to society to show one’s strength through acts of aggression on 1) men 2) women 3) children 4) walls.

“Feminist” deconstruction supports multifaceted logic in a way that “masculine” logic tends not to. If you’ve ever said – that’s it – right is right and wrong is wrong, you may be falling into lazy thinking and logical fallacy. Which is fine. We all do it. The human mind is finite and can only grasp so much at a time. So long as you’re aware that the mental shortcuts we use can’t possibly cover everything.

Masculine logic says this is a hammer. Feminine logic asks what are the many meanings to hammer (verb noun and adjective?), how much does the hammer cost, and other open ended questions. There is a time and place for both, I guess. I find most absolutes to be like fun mental challenges most of the time. Please oh please let me deconstruct your idols into their constituent parts. There are very few things not subject to disassembly at least in my brain.

To deconstruct male and female, it’s important to note that we are looking at the concepts of male and female in an essentialist sense, not a literal one. Words matter. We kind of need them. At the same time, we need to be aware that words carry a lot of unintended baggage.

When we say “feminism” is all about cooperation among seemingly chaotic diversity and “masculinity” is all competition to be The One True Meaning, this is not to say all – or even most – actual women or men conform to these stereotypes.

Not all men are actually gods or princes of nations. Not all women are in fact goddesses or entire nations. It’s just a language we use, one derived from a patriarchal culture. We continue this lingual shortcut when we describe feminism as complex and multi-faceted with masculine as singular and monofocused.

Not because women really are more complex than men but because in a patriarchal society women are viewed that way. As other. Difficult to understand. Viewed only in terms of relationship, rarely as one person in her own right, often defined in relation to a man.

Masculine and feminine as words, as symbols, mean what we say they mean if that’s what we say it means. Of course at this point we are several light years away from an actual man and and actual woman.

All language is like this.

It’s all metaphors. Of course it is. Words are symbols. The word apple isn’t going to feed anyone. God is not in fact male or female. God does not in fact possess innate gender, because God precedes gender. And language. All the metaphors we use to describe God fall flat, except for one.

And now my mind feels like the hamster is still on the wheel but it needs a nap. Yeshua, this one is for you. I love you forever. I love YOU a lot. Everyone else is starting to annoy me again. In a but Jesus loves everyone kind of way. I’m glad someone does. I’m feeling a bit fed up with the human race. And I say this AS a human.

Honestly I am just exhausted right now. On like every level. Happy but exhausted. Ready for nap time.

3 thoughts on “Feminism vs Toxic Masculinity

    1. That is so kind to say. It was actually a Facebook group that I’ve now left related to a TV show (Expanse) where one of the stars was recently accused of sexual harassment. In addition to the star, now several other exec’s at Ubisoft (maker of the the game Assassins Creed where he allegedly harassed women) are also in trouble. The less I knew about all of this, the happier I would be. I feel for all the alleged victims. And for the culture in general. As I tried to point out, I think this is an issue of culture more than one person or site. No blame or grudge. Just need to breathe.

      1. Ah, well… I’m sort of done with Facebook anyway.

        I’m not familiar with the harassment case you mentioned, but I do agree with you that that sort of thing is a culture problem. It would be nice if it were just a few bad apples doing bad things, but these sorts of thing happen far too often all across society. These aren’t isolated incidents; it’s a systemic problem.

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