It’s November again and that means NaNoWriMo, the event where thousands of people across the world try to write 50,000 words in a month. It’s also the first Wednesday of the month which means IWSG day!
The optional question of the month: Win or not, do you usually finish your NaNo project? Have any of them gone on to be published?
Answer, I always finish something, but it’s never been anything I’ve considered publishable. This month, I’m writing “experimental fiction” – usually what I do in November, the kind of story I want to write even if no one else will want to read it.
I’m having a bit of a downer this week apart from NaNoWriMo insecurities. Other writing I’ve been doing for paying clients has not been going well and I am questioning my abilities as a writer. I keep hoping I’ll magically break out of this funk I’ve been in – but there’s a part of me that is saying, but what if I lack the talent to do this? Maybe I’m just seriously not good at this. I feel like it needs to be said. Maybe I love to write, because I do, but that’s where it ends – and that’s okay. I just need to look at other ways to make a living / make my mark on the world.
That’s where I am right now – and man this sounds horrible when I say it like that, but there’s a peace in entertaining the possibility, in saying maybe I can’t actually do this. I need to stop trying to force myself to be able to do something I’m not going to be able to do. I overthink things way too much, run down side trails way too easily – and that’s just who I am. Only by accepting that, maybe, I can start seeing a path that will actually work.
I really hope so.