It’s November again and that means NaNoWriMo, the event where thousands of people across the world try to write 50,000 words in a month. It’s also the first Wednesday of the month which means IWSG day!
The optional question of the month: Win or not, do you usually finish your NaNo project? Have any of them gone on to be published?
Answer, I always finish something, but it’s never been anything I’ve considered publishable. This month, I’m writing “experimental fiction” – usually what I do in November, the kind of story I want to write even if no one else will want to read it.
I’m having a bit of a downer this week apart from NaNoWriMo insecurities. Other writing I’ve been doing for paying clients has not been going well and I am questioning my abilities as a writer. I keep hoping I’ll magically break out of this funk I’ve been in – but there’s a part of me that is saying, but what if I lack the talent to do this? Maybe I’m just seriously not good at this. I feel like it needs to be said. Maybe I love to write, because I do, but that’s where it ends – and that’s okay. I just need to look at other ways to make a living / make my mark on the world.
That’s where I am right now – and man this sounds horrible when I say it like that, but there’s a peace in entertaining the possibility, in saying maybe I can’t actually do this. I need to stop trying to force myself to be able to do something I’m not going to be able to do. I overthink things way too much, run down side trails way too easily – and that’s just who I am. Only by accepting that, maybe, I can start seeing a path that will actually work.
I really hope so.
Anne Higa 
Hmmm… interesting post. I don’t know what the right path forward for you looks like. Do you let go of writing to financially support yourself or not? For me, that’s my dream, but it would really just be the icing on the cake, because I love writing stories. Even if I never make a single dollar from it, I’ll still enjoy the act. Good luck to you, and thank you for sharing.
You’re in a difficult place. Insecurity is self-fulfilling. The more insecure we feel, the worse it gets. Perhaps you could get a second opinion on your writing. A trusted friend (who will tell you the truth, not what they think you want to hear), a more experienced writer, a critique group? If you do get another job, you could write part-time. If the urge to write is still there, you have your answer. Write for fun. Write what you want to write. You’ll find what works for you. Good luck!
Put your doubts in a can and bury it. Get on with what you love. You can do this.
Anna from elements of emaginette