Let’s

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Let’s go to the movies. I’ve really been wanting to watch the latest Quentin Tarantino.

Great idea. Let’s invite our friends.

Yeah, let’s.

Let’s go out for ice cream after. Anyone else want to? No?

Let’s go anyway.

Let’s.

Let’s kiss a little.

Let’s go back to my place.

Yes, let’s.

Let’s exchange phone numbers before you go.

Let’s take things slow.

Let’s give this a chance.

Let’s just be friends.

Let’s not.

L

This is my L entry for the A-Z challenge, and,  true confessions, this is one of three in a row I wrote on relationships. And I don’t really like how they came out. I liked the idea but can’t seem to make that idea work. In this one, I mostly wanted to play on the term “let’s” and how I’ve seen it used in so many different ways, from sarcastic (Yes, let’s all go an freeze our butts off) to enthusiastic (let’s go to Disney World!) And use those different layers of meaning to play on the games people play with each other. My main problem is I think the prose is trying to be too clever and therefore doesn’t clearly convey the story.

Any thoughts on  how this could be better? As a writer or reader have you ever read something where you thought – great concept (maybe) but terrible execution? Are there some stories which would be great to read or write if you could only think of a way to do it – but how would you do that?

Happy Thursday! Almost halfway through April!

Friday Fictioneers & A-Z Challenge: Island Dreams

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PHOTO PROMPT – © Jennifer Pendergast

This is my post for Friday Fictioneers and the A-Z Challenge, a hundred word story in response to the prompt and my entry for the letter I. For more stories click the frog and for more fun “I” stuff, check out the challenge!

Island Dreams

Funny the things we tell ourselves.

I’m better off without you.

Couples with children noisily talk, laugh, play, while I turn the page in the latest epic adventure tale of the moment.

Maybe I’m not really an island. Maybe I’m a causeway gurgling beneath the surf. Maybe I’m the chain between two box-cars, shattered, destroyed, and useless without you.

Then again, maybe I like my freedom, the open sky, no arguments, no promises to “never again,” no cops called by concerned neighbors. Maybe I am an island glistening amidst living waters, trundling peacefully along the track of my new life.